Why New Year's Resolution's Are Fated To Fail (and what to do about it)
So, you'll probably be familiar with the idea that New Years resolution's are fated to fail. We're all cracking on strong for the first 2.5 weeks and then start to loose sight of the motivation. The magic is fading, it's hard, you can't see results yet and on and on and on.
You've already followed people online that have what you want and done the inspired planning over the holidays, so guilt follows your disillusion - "why can't I fucking stick to this?"
From here what we know as self-sabotage follows, and although we see this part of the human condition as something shameful - at one point, this part saved you.
Although 28 year old you knows you want to get out of debt, take 3 months off and travel ↡
6 year old you can still hear your parents arguing about always being broke and never being able to catch up..
Although 31 year old you has all the inspiration and experience to start a creative project or birth a business idea ↡
14 year old you is still being pulled down by frienemies and 'hard-working' adults..
Now there are a few moving parts to this, I've kept it short so stick with me.
Our subconscious is full of old information, stored to keep us safe. Pretty impressive, but not entirely intelligent.
Our subconscious mind has its hands on the wheel of our survival system, which works in the background without us knowing, whereas our conscious mind is steering our willpower.
Have you every tried to hold your breath till you pass out? Don't - but your survival system will trump willpower most of the time.
When in your developmental stages of life, navigating your place in your childhood home, at school and your first relationships, you are taking in incredible amounts of subtle information to figure out how to stay connected, how to stay loved, how to stay safe. This becomes part of your survival default without you realising.
Lastly, sometimes if the energetic force of a situation or circumstance is greater than our ability at that time to process it, it will store in our body. This is what is happening when you're 'triggered'.
You may have heard in the personal development space - "You're in debt because you don't believe you're worthy of money", or "You're in a shitty relationship because you don't believe you're worthy of love". It applies to nearly everything. I never really understood this. I listened to the same thing for years and thought - of course I don't want to be broke, or in a shitty relationship, or be stuck in this job I hate. What do I need here? And everyone screams "Affirmations!" ...hey, it's a start, but no.
You need to get deeply curious about your story. Your money story. Your love story. Your body image story. Your employment story.
When you have the patience and honesty to explore what you have experienced, felt, heard, learnt, unlearnt, and ultimately been taught to believe about any corner of your life, only then are you able to discern what is your's and what has been given to you by someone else.
Please know that shifting any part of yourself is rarely overnight. It's lots of little subtle shifts over time made with intention. And just when you think you've peeled everything back to its core, even that will start to flake away. This is what it is to be human! If we allow it to, it gives our life texture and truth. In saying that, here's a start.
Get your journal out and explore these ↡
☽ When I was growing up, was (your aspiration) present in the family?
☽ If not, when was the first time you came into contact with it?
☽ (In either circumstance) How was it spoken about? How was it handled then? What was the quality of energy surrounding it then? Any specific memories coming through? Discuss it all in depth.
☽ How did this make me feel at the time about myself as well as the aspiration?
☽ What words can describe the quality of the energy around this thing I desire now? How do I feel when I think about it? Nervous, Excited, Longing, Lack, Expansive, Content?
☽ Read all of the above findings back, and write your story from start to finish surrounding this aspiration. Think back as far as you can remember and highlight any standout conversations, themes, painful memories, gains, losses - lay it all out bare keeping in mind that nobody will ever read these words.
Read this perfectly unique story back - This might help shed some light on what is really running this rock show. Your survival instinct (subconscious mind) may be trying to keep 12 year old you safe, when you're willpower (conscious mind) know's it needs to get a move on. Once this 'belief' is pinpointed, you become aware of so much more than just the story.
This practice is pretty much all cognitive. To move past this 'blockage' and begin to create something fresh and dazzling, the body needs to join the party.
Conscious Connected Breathwork, Yoga and EFT have been my human magick, and what I offer during the Innerbloom 1:1 experience. Others have found release in Ecstatic Dance, Cold Therapy, or Kinesiology. Get curious. What is asking you to take a closer look?
For more on what I offer to help you create the unimaginable, click below x